I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
