just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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