i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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