SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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