I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize