I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
