actually, I'm a sock model
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
did i just pee glitter
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize