That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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