The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
