i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the day after is always just damage control
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
