life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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