We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
