Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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