woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
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He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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