I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize