32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
