I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have aggressive nipples.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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