what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
