you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
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btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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