You work out of a Hotel?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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