ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
