2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
