What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?