sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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