chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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