The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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