Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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