I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
