I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
