He is an equal opportunity slut.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Randomize
