Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize