Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
