So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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