I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
