I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
