he wants to bone in the snuggie
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
worst night to have a conscience
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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