I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
