don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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