we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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