Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
