Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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