your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
