whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
