I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize