You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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