my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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