i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
