if i died would you start the facebook group?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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