barbara walters just said penis...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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