I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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