No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
