i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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