I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Can you bring me the toilet please
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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