you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
