Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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