I must be too annoying 4 u.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
