i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
