No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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