it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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