All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
