for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
