do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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